The other night I was running through Boston Common when I stumbled across a live, mini soap opera in action.
I was marveling how bright the moon was that night, like someone had just punched a hole through the darkness, when I heard it:
"YAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGHHHH!!!" An almost inhuman wail of rage and angst.
There were two girls, probably around eight years old, on bikes. One had stopped and was looking back over her shoulder at the other one, whose mouth was open in a perfect "O", her screams tearing through the night.
"RAAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGHHHHH!!!"
As far as I could tell, no one was hurt. An adult (the mother, perhaps) was walking towards the screaming child, speaking soothingly. The tiny human siren was just sitting on her bike, not moving, her head tipped straight back so that the out-pour of sound waves rocketing from her mouth could travel the farthest distance.
"YOU! HURT! MY! FEEEEEELLLLINNGS!!!" the girl wailed.
"I wasn't trying to hurt your feelings," the adult said. "I was just saying what you did was idiotic."
"WAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAA HAAAA HAAAAAAAAA!!! WAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!" the girl continued to holler.
I burst into laughter and crossed the street while her screams escalated behind me. She was roaring so loudly that her voice was gargling and growing husky from the effort.
It wasn't until a few minutes later that I wondered if I should feel bad about laughing at a crying child.
I guess people forget how powerful we feel things sometimes. Children don't seem to have any qualms with it, but adults? Forget about it.
A writer's job is to feel, though, or at least have the capacity to understand what makes people feel the way they do sometimes. I always picture a writer as an exposed wire out in the open, with the dangerous potential to react to the other currents buzzing around out there. In other words, writers have to approach the world vulnerable and defenseless. Otherwise, how are they going to be affected about it... so that they, in turn, can write about it?
This is why, among other things, I think criticism can be so tough for an artist. It's almost like they have to prepare two faces: a sensitive one for the world that they have to creatively interact with... and another, shielded face for when the work is critiqued and evaluated. It's tough to balance between the two faces, and to know exactly when to wear them.
So to the writers and artists out there: how do you navigate such a world?
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trying to make it sound all profound and deep... face it, corey, you were laughing at a crying kid, you jerk! she was in serious, emotional pain! lol. (i'm kidding. she probably forgot all about it as soon as she watched another episode of spongebob.)
ReplyDeletedo you necessarily have to have 2 faces when it comes to solely creating something? I am no writer, but i can certainly understand the desire to have a public vs. private persona. i think that is something that every person faces. every person acts differently - there are behaviors that are appropriate for work, but not so much at home, and vice versa. it's an everyday part of life.
i would think anyone who is creating something that is going to be viewed by others should expect it to be judged. it's inevitable, but he should just keep in mind where these judgments are coming from. who says the critic even know what they're talking about? if it's something like a teacher, or an expert on whatever field, that would hold more clout. but even then, if your material is something that is based on creativity (as opposed to facts that someone can argue about) then it's just opinion vs. opinion.
one should know there will always be at least one person who has something bad to say - whether it's their honest opinion, or they're jealous or a hater or whatever. movies, even if they're AMAZING, rarely get 5 stars because someone's always complaining. it goes without saying that you can't please everyone. so.. who gives a crap what everyone else thinks? if everyone went along with the general opinion, no one would have original ideas anymore. so.. a struggle i see when thinking of a writer/artist is more: figuring out where the line would be drawn - when is taking criticism an improvement vs. when there are so many or so major an 'improvement' that the idea has been muddled and it's no longer "his" anymore.
from what you've said, it also sounds more like rather than a battle of sensitivity vs. developing a thick skin, it's more of being able to develop opinions and feelings about the world and yet somehow still maintaining an open mind to absorb it all.
Puki, you would have gotten along really well with one of my college professors, whom I think shares some of your insights regarding this whole thing. Question for you: as an artist yourself (dancing, drawing, writing) is criticism tough for you, or did the observations you mentioned help you through it? Or did you tackle it a different way?
ReplyDeletei always enjoyed philosophy and the like, although i never got as good as a grade as i wanted... lol.
ReplyDeletehmm, i know that in the beginning when i got criticized it was really hard and i took it very personally. but... when i got to watch videos of our performances, or look at my artwork after taking their advice to heart, i truly did see improvement. a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, i suppose? and though it got easier the more it happened, criticism always left a little bit of a foul "after-taste" of sorts...as it should (i feel). it gives you the drive to do better and not get criticized for it again (or at least not so much).
of course, i don't really receive criticisms so much anymore, especially after i became more of the teacher than the student in terms of dancing... and even art too i guess. (so i'm not entirely certain if i'd respond well to it again, LOL, i'm leaning towards no... i think i may have a pride issue now about usually being right! =P)
again, i'd have to stick with what i said earlier - it would depend on who was giving the criticism. if it was someone who was an authority on the subject? i'd try to see things their way - learn from the masters. if i felt they didn't know what they were talking about? i'd disregard it, or possibly even be a little offended that they had the 'audacity' to say something.
i've also found that if it's someone super close to you - like family or a close friend - it can get tricky. you need to take a lot more things into account like considering how objective they are. for example, if my mom tells me i was "amazing" at something, it's a tongue-in-cheek sort of thing - it's like, "i want to believe you, but at the same time, you're my mom and you love me and you will always think i'm amazing no matter what." on the other hand my dad tends to be overly critical because he always wants me to do my absolute best. so... it's all about your judgment. i think people will usually find a happy medium/balance between how much to take and how much to ignore - probably some sort of preservation instinct.
i wish there was another way to tackle it but i can't think of one. i'd think in order to improve there has to be criticism - whether from oneself or from others, or both.